1. Study the Kama Sutra
There is a technique mentioned in the Kama Sutra for delaying ejaculations that basically comes down to training yourself to last longer,” says Harper. She instructs men to start slowly—with no more than one “in/out” stroke every three seconds. “He should then build more strokes slowly over the course of 4 or 5 minutes, until he is moving one stroke per second.” If the man starts to feel like he is going to come, he should stop and “hold himself inside his partner until he feels in control again. Then he begins the whole process again.”
2. Get Out of Your Head
“Performance anxiety is the number one killer of sustaining an erection,” says sex coach Dr. Patti Britton, a board-certified Clinical Sexologist. “Shift your thinking to a more confident inner voice, as opposed to a worried voice.” Britton explains that a “self-debilitating mindset” is what shuts guys down. “When you begin to feel anxiety, the strategy is to stop, take a breath, and then focus on how things feel in the body. Stay out of your head and get into your body—focus on the feelings that your body is producing for you.”
3. Slow down!
“Instead of the fast-paced jack-hammering style that many men are so fond of, try taking your time,” says Toyooka. Sex at a slower pace leads to a more connected experience for both people. “It’s more sensual because you are caressing and exploring the rest of her body. Kiss her neck, nuzzle her ear, let your hands gently explore her body,” she says. The most important thing to keep in mind that will help you last longer?
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5. Don’t go deep.
“If you feel that continued deep thrusting will bring on an all-too-quick orgasm, try penetrating only the lower portion of her vagina—in other words, take more shallow thrusts,” says Toyooka. “Also, alternating between shallow and deep thrusts can make you last longer, and will also make the experience a lot more fun!”