In the beginning, when love is new, romance and conquest are aphrodisiacs, stimulants that increase our appetite for sexual union.
Eventually hearts are won, and lifetime promises are made. The happy man and wife says “I do” walking through the sunset together, destined to be faithful lovers forever.
And then what happens? The new days joy fades, the passion runs away. Where does it go?
Times may have altered, but is it really just a story of decreasing hormones and loss of blood flow?
A Chinese saying is “young love is from earth; mature love from heaven” Could it be that our bodies are trying to tell us that they want to slow down and cool off?
In this ancient understanding of the universe, the elements that describe all the phases of creation are wood, fire, earth, metal and water.
Wood is represented by the elasticity and fast growth of bamboo. When love is first born, it grows too fast. There is gentle excitement, exploration and discovery. As the day lightened from dawn to noon, the relationship improves to the next phase, which is fire.
Fire burns unpredictably and represents the passion and fuss of life. In relationships, fire represents the energetic and creative bluster of life’s request, the tears and laughter of drama and pleasure. When fire burns out, ashes remain, which turn into earth.
Earth gives form and structure to relationship. It is the nature of earth to slow things down, providing steadiness and a sense of aggressiveness. In the earth phase of the five-element system, that our relationships are usually anesthetized to sleep. The sex medicines and hormones awaken us, remind us of the burning fire we thought we had left behind.
What is primary in the Chinese system is a dynamic balance of all the elements.
Metal from the earth, to take out the gold from the dirt. From this perspective, we mindfully convert our relationship into a meaningful spiritual way that finally brings the fulfillment we have looked for.
Finally, the cycle releases into the element of water, as we awaken to our inner self in the existence of our beloved. Water nourishes the growth of wood, and in this way the cycle continues, passion is refreshed and our relationship becomes an ongoing love affair.
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