The passion will fade with time no matter how eagerly she jumped in the sack when you first started dating. But less urgency doesn’t have to translate to all out boredom in bed. After you’ve been together a while, you don’t feel I want to rip your clothes off desire, but you still want the person. Boredom is more of a deterrent case like, ‘ I’m not really feeling this at all.
So how can you tell when your girlfriend has drifted into “I could think less about sex” territory? Watch for these signs some subtle, others annoying that she’s checked out in the sack, and learn how to contact her before your sexual absence carries over to the rest of your relationship.
Does She Regularly Go To Bed At A Different Time Than You
Maybe she really doesn’t want to watch The Game Of Thrones with you. But there’s a more likely reason for her early bedtime: she’s aiming to avoid intimacy. Conversely, some women may linger in the living room until you’ve dozed off, with a similar goal of deflecting your calls.
Pique Her Interest: You could try initiating sex earlier, since she may just be frustrated with your late-night attempts at moving in on her. And that doesn’t just mean executing your usual moves at 6 p.m. instead of midnight. That way, she knows you don’t expect her to be hot and horny instantly and that you’re willing to work toward revving up her desire together.
Does She Want To Stick With One Position During Sex?
She favors the move that she knows gets you off fastest. If she’s like, ‘Let’s not switch things up—let’s just do this and get done,’ she’s not interested in feeling more pleasure. It’s totally obligatory, going through the motions.
Pique her interest: If you’re running a one-position show, try adding an extra element of pleasure for her: Break out the vibrator, and stimulate her clitoris while you’re thrusting. Hopefully, once she’s reminded how awesome her orgasm feels and even the pleasure leading up to it she’ll reengage in the experience. Or even better, guide her into a new position entirely ideally, one that requires standing. Also, standing sex forces your nervous system to work a little bit harder—and that means she can’t drift off into that detached, halfway asleep state during sex.
When You Offer To Get Her Off, She Declines
It’s one thing to decline giving you a blow job, since that can be a lot of work. But to refuse her own pleasure? That’s a bad sign. Having an orgasm and the process it takes to get there can be very sensual, relaxing, and connecting. If she doesn’t value those things and would rather just sleep your connection may no longer be strong enough to seduce her into bed. This level of apathy may indicate a deeper issue: sometimes, there are other emotions loaded into boredom, like harassment, anger and disappointment.
Pique her interest: She may think that you’re offering an orgasm for your own personal ego boost not because you really want to give her pleasure. So before giving up, let her know you’re all about her.
If she’s still not interested, bring it up outside the bedroom in the morning. To show curiosity about her experience of your sex life—something many men don’t do. It’s an opportunity to see what’s going on in the relationship that might make her not want to connect.
She Started To Ask “ Did You Finish? ”
A lot of guys think women want sex to last a long time like half an hour or more, but the truth is, most women are totally cool with a 10-minute session. Any longer, and they may start to lose their lubrication, which is just uncomfortable. 30 minutes may seem especially long to a woman who can’t climax during intercourse.
Pique her interest: If you’re nowhere close to finishing, work on drawing her attention. Pat her face, and make intimate eye contact with her. Connection is a huge turn-on for women. Another libido booster is sensing that your desire is specifically directed toward her. Gazing into her eyes is a surefire signal that your arousal is aimed entirely her way.
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